Wow!!!

Why didn't somebody tell me how BORING my blogs are?  Jeez, oh man....how could anyone read that and get any enjoyment out of it.  I may have to start blogging about more intimate stuff.  Is anyone up for that???

Sunday morning...

John has gone to play golf and I'm home with Cindy and Stella.  What great comfort they are to me. I love both of them so much.  Who would ever think that a couple of doggies could bring so much love to my heart.  

Jenny and Dave left Friday morning to go to Williamsburg and Grant's wedding.  They will be home sometime today.  Tonight the 4 of us will go out to Ruth's Chris' Steak House.  It is one of our favorite places to go when Jenny is in town.  They will leave on Wednesday to go to Boston for a few days and then on to New Hampshire and Dave's sister's high school graduation.

Sometimes I feel lonely.  John is busy with his job and when he comes home he immediately gets on the computer to do all of his work emails.    I spend hours a day at the computer myself.  I can't believe how much time we both spend just sitting here doing what we do on the computers. Actually, it is kind of cute.  We have the computers set up side by side in our family room.  John has a pc and I have a Mac.  I don't know what I would do without John around to help me with everything technical.  When I have any sort of problem with the tv or my mac or anything electronic, he is Johnny on the spot.  He just understands those things, or actually knows how to figure them out.    I am not smart with things like that at all.  I do remember that it was back in 1989 and I was just beginning to hear a lot about computers and I thought this is going to be something really important someday. I wanted one!! John and I talked about it and he would ask "what will we do with it?"..I told him that I had no idea but I would figure it out. 

When we went to buy it, we went to Radio Shack and I remember that we had the option of getting one with or without a hard drive.  Without the hard drive, we would just always have to put a disk in.  We opted for the 20 meg hard drive. Not knowing why we would need it or what we would do with it.  I think 20 megs is like a grain of salt in a hard drive of today.  So, there we were with this computer and nobody knew what to do with it.  I read in the paper that the local community college had computer classes starting.  It was BEGINNING DOS.  I signed up for the course.  After that, I took INTERMEDIATE DOS and I was learning how to move around in DOS.  This was way before they ever had Windows.  I learned how to do a spreadsheet and how to put a document on the pc and print it out.  As I learned these things, I taught them to the children.   We bought software and were playing a lot of games and I was communicating with a local "chat" group.  We also got PRODIGY, which was I suppose one of the first interactive software programs that let us connect with the world.  I was on it every single day and I eventually made friends with other "Stay at Home" moms and it was a daily thing for me to get on Prodigy and talk to my friends who were spread all over the USA.  There were 10 of us and we met every single day and would spend hours chatting back and forth.  It was actually more like emailing and when we would write to one, it would go to all.  We kept up with each other's lives for over 4 years.  I am still in close touch with one of those ladies.  She lives near San Francisco and we all met her family when we were visiting John's mother.  She recently came to DC for a convention and I spent time with her.  She has 2 sons and the youngest was being potty trained then and I think he recently finished college!!! Where did the years go.  

But progress came creeping along and Prodigy went by the wayside and Windows took over and all of a sudden everyone had a computer.  How could we live without it...How did we ever live without it.  I remember first hearing about the "internet" and how the world would someday all be connected at this one central place.  I couldn't grasp it.  I didn't believe it, but hey, look where we are now.

I'm glad we got that first computer.  My children learned the keyboard and did their homework papers on the computer very early on.  I can't help but wonder what all the changes will be during the next 20 years.  We have come so far these past 20 years.

CONTINUED...FROM LAST POST

We didn't get divorced for 4 years.  That is when the best part of my life began.  I met John.  The absolute love of my life.  In many ways, I find it hard to feel so terrible about that awful accident. Because if that had not happened....I would never have met John.

I had been separated from Pat for almost 2 years when I met John.  Having just gone through this knee replacement and being laid up just like I was 37 years ago, I can tell you...it is a lot easier when you have a loving and supportive husband by your side.

John waited on my hand and foot and just was a dream come true for me and my rehabilitation through this.  Things are getting back to normal and I wonder if I'll ever be able to repay him for being so kind and understanding when I was "down".  I am the luckiest gal in the world to have him.

With age....comes wisdom!!!

I think about my life a lot. I remember the past a lot and I think about mistakes that I made. Man oh man would I love to go back and do it all over and I'd change soooo much of it. At this moment, I'm remembering my courting days that eventually led to my 2nd marriage. Since I had already gone through a failed marriage a mere 4 years earlier, one would think that I would be more cautious.

My roommate and I decided to move to Charleston from Columbia. We were both dating sailors stationed in Charleston and thought...what the heck...lets move. My roommate was very serious with her guy and I think they were even engaged. I was just starting to date my new guy. It just seemed like a good time to move back home. We moved in with a girl we had met on a previous trip to Charleston who was looking for 2 roommates. She live in a very nice apartment complex with lots of singles and a huge pool. It was really ideal for us.

On our very first night in the apartment, we went out to the Air Force Officer's Club. It was a Friday night and they always had a great band and lots of dancing. Well, I was sitting at the bar and across the room, I see this guy looking at me...I think he's cute, so I smile back....in a little while, he comes over and introduces himself. His name was Patrick and he was really cute. We danced every dance and closed the place down. He went home with me that same night. He left early in the morning and called me later that day to see if we could get together that night. To make a long story short....we stayed together for the next 7 nights. On that 7th day, I got roses sent to my office...I'll never forget the card....it said "to Lawrence of Arabia...7 days and 7 nights". He was a Naval Officer and he made it clear to me right from the start that he wanted to have fun and had no intention of marrying ANYONE...EVER. I liked him a lot, but really didn't have marriage on my mind either. However, looking back on the entire situation, I know now that I was on a mission to change him...show him that marriage could be a good thing. We dated for a year and a half exclusively. He had a bad temper sometimes for no reason at all. I hated that and if I had any sense at all, I would have called it off right then and there. But something inside of me just couldn't let go. When he would lose his temper, he would always apologize and say it wouldn't happen again...etc. He never hit me or anything like that. But he would throw food on the floor if he didn't like what I cooked or scream at me if I didn't do something just like he wanted. I was a fool. I thought if I kept my tail between my legs, he would see that I was a good person. I really think it had become a CHALLENGE for me.

Well, one day he came home from work and said that he had received orders to be stationed at Fort Knox, Ky and he said that he loved me and wanted to be with me the rest of our lives. He went on to say he didn't want to get married, but would I wait for him and we could be together during his time there with visits, etc. I told him that if he left without me, I could not make any promises about being here for him (bad mistake on my part)...so, one way or the other...he asked me to marry him and go with him.

Our best friends at the time was a married couple and we spent most of our spare time and dates at their house and doing things with them. They kept encouraging us to get married (I guess misery loves company) Patrick would later tell me that he felt PRESSURED by this couple to go through with the marriage!! I had plenty of doubts about whether or not I was doing the right thing. It just didn't feel right to me. I didn't really believe that he loved me and I had doubts about my love too. I was 27 years old and somehow, felt like it was now or never.

We did have a beautiful ceremony at the Gazebo on the Battery. He hired a horse and carriage. We had the full dress military with the swords...and 3 girls playing harps...It was really beautiful. My sister, Mary Lou was Maid of Honor and Al Kreutner was Pat's best man. After the ceremony, we had the reception on one of the harbour tour boats. It was all so perfect.

Except for the fact that Pat and I both had WAY too much to drink. Somehow, we got back to the Mills House where we were gonna spend our wedding night. There were 2 beds in the room and he passed out on one and I passed out on the other one.

Our honeymoon was a sailboat trip from Charleston to Hilton Head. As soon as we returned from that we headed to Fort Knox and his new duty station. We were married on June 3rd, 1972 and soon after we moved into our small apartment, the 4th of July was approaching and we decided to take a weekend trip up to Ohio where his parents were camping. It was the trip home from this trip that the horrible accident happened and my legs were injured. I spent the next 13 months in the hospital and Pat and I never really lived together as husband and wife after that. I stayed with him to help him finish his Master's Thesis but he had his bedroom and I had mine. We knew it was over!! In fact, we both knew it should never have taken place. We were divorced on May 22, 1976.

I was angry at him for years, for not staying beside me like a faithful husband. He didnt visit in the hospital very often and resented the fact that my mother was living with him. She would spend all day, ever day with me at the hospital. I needed her there especially because he just didn't love me anymore and we were staying together only for my medical care.

When I moved home with my mother, I swore I'd never marry again...this was my 2nd marriage and I didn't want to try again. I bought a nice little house, mom moved in with me and we were happy (most of the time)....It was May 1974 when I moved home with mom. I still needed more surgery and I just didn't know what the future held for me. Pat had a new girlfriend and they were living together.

Oh Happy Day!!!

I am happy to report that Jenny and Dave will be here on June 11th for a few days and Jeff will be coming home for 2 whole weeks in July.  This makes me happy!!!

John will be coming home tomorrow.  Seems like he has been gone forever.  When the kids were little, he was gone what seems like "most" of the time.  Being stationed on a submarine means hat he went out to sea very often.  I would see some of the wives and kids crying and carrying on something awful when the boat would leave.  I always tried not to make much of a big deal out of it because I didn't want to upset the children.  They knew that when daddy was gone, there would be many trips to FRIENDLY'S for dinner and always ice cream afterwards.  John being gone wasn't such a hardship on me because my job was always to take care of things at home.  If something broke, I knew who to call.  I always knew that John's work was important to him and he did a good job there and was willing to let me handle things at home.  I think that is why we always got along so well.

When John was Commanding Officer of the USS Albuquerque in Groton, Ct. Jeff was about 8 and Jenny was 5.  We went for a roadtrip with my sister, Bonnie.  We went to Boston for a couple of days and the children saw Plymouth Rock and the Children's Museum in Boston. We stayed at a hotel with a pool and I had Jenny wearing a swim sweater while she was in the water.  That evening she kept complaining that her shoulders were hurting.  I figured that the swim sweater had irritated her skin and didn't think much of it.  We drove back to Bonnie's house and spent the night with her before we were going to travel on home the next day.  Both children were playing and acting normal.  But the next morning when I woke up and Jenny was sleeping beside me, I felt of her head and she was absolutely burning up with fever.  I immediately panicked and put the children in the car and started the 30 minute drive home so that I could get Jenny to the doctor.  I went straight to the pediatrician's office.  He examined her and said it was probably a virus and not to worry.  I took her home and put her straight to bed.  She didn't improve all day long and my mother's instinct just told me that all was not well.  Her pediatrician was a civilian doctor and I just hated to go back to him the very next day, so I took her to the Navy hospital on base.  The Pediatrician there told me the same thing.  I was frustrated and just felt that my hands were tied and really didn't know what to do.  I took Jenny home and laid in bed with her and she would sleep off and on and she continued to complain that her swim sweater had hurt her shoulders.  I was a nerveous wreck!!  John was out to sea and I knew he couldn't do anything to help matters anyway. I couldn't do anything except worry about Jenny.  By the next morning, I hadn't slept all night and her fever continued to spike and she just was no better. I bit the dust and went BACK to my original pediatrician, and insisted on seeing a different doctor.  This time, I saw the head of the practice and he was my favorite doctor anyway.  Once he examined Jenny, he immediately told me that she had to go to the hospital.  He said he would drive and I should follow him in my car.  Jeff was with me, so I called a neighbor and asked her to please pick Jeff up from the pediatricians office and take him home with her.  I would call my sister Bonnie from the hospital to pick him up.  

Jenny was laying in the back seat, still so very sick.  I followed Dr. Long to the hospital.  They admitted Jenny and immediately did a spinal tap.  Dr. Long explained to me that Jenny's neck was stiff. I hadn't realized this before and of course, I really panicked then.  After what seemed like hours, the doctor came into Jenny's room and asked me if Jenny had been bitten by a tick recently.  I told him not to my knowledge!!  He explained to me that they thought she had Lyme Meningitis.  They hooked her up to IV antibiotics for 7 days and each day she improved.  To this day, I dont' remember any tick bite.   Once Jenny was better and the doctor said she could go home the next day...I called John and told him all about it.  I was torn as to whether or not to call him during the ordeal, but I knew Jeff was safe with Aunt Bonnie and I could stay with  Jenny 24/7 and there was really nothing John could do except worry with me.  In the end, I made the right decision about not calling him.

Jenny was fine, but what I didn't realize is that she may have been left with arthritis in many of her joints.  Years later, she would complain about pain in various joints.  After reading about Lyme Disease I found that one of the later symptoms is arthritis.  Although Jenny was later tested, I have since learned that Lyme Disease is a very misunderstood disease and the tests are faulty.  I just pray that the antibiotics she had were enough.  But I'm fearful that it wasn't.  I guess only time will tell.

In the meantime, Jeff would go running with his cousin Harry and Bonnie would take him swimming and he had a grand time staying with her.

I have my doggies to comfort me!!

John is still in Russia and Linda left this morning.  What a wonderful week I had with Linda.  If you look up the word friend in the dictionary, you will see Linda's picture.  When she came last Monday, she brought home made dishes for every single night she was here. She had prepared them at home and brought them. We had chicken salad, veggie soup, beef stew, and so much more and ALL made from scratch.  Now I will go back to my tv dinners and frozen pizzas.

Since Linda and I are both from Charleston, SC we LOVE boiled peanuts and nobody makes boiled peanuts like the street vendors in Charleston. So we bought 2 lbs of peanuts and made them the old fashioned southern way.  They boiled for over 12 hours and were delicious!!! 

We went to Ikea one day and I walked what felt like the entire store. I had to sit down and rest a lot but by the time we finished our trip, my ankles were hurting more than my knees.  I will say that I took ALL of the next day to rest up.  My knees were quite sore cuz I had used muscles and tendons and ligaments that I didn't even know I had.  Once I was up and walking again, my knees were better than ever.  I should do that every single week.  There were lots of little trips for her and we spent our evenings talking about all that we had been through over these past 30 years and just sat around watching tv.  What a wonderful and relaxing week.  Linda helped me re-pot some plants and she seemed to be working too hard.  She took very good care of me and I hated to see her leave this morning.  

She brought her precious doggie, Murphy with her and so we had the 3 dogs to watch play all week also.  The three of them are so cute together.  I don't know how anyone survives without a sweet little doggie to love them back.   

John will be home on Friday and I'm fine to take care of myself.  Linda was a wonderful "transition" for me.  They took out my hospital bed while she was here and I would gradually do more and more things around the house.  I think I can honestly say that here, at the 5 week mark, I could not be any better.  I'm still slow and a bit unsteady on my feet.  However, half the time when I get up to walk I forget where my cane is.  I read somewhere that this is a good sign. Once I forget my cane....I know I'm walking better.

Now I have Jenny and Dave to look forward to coming for a visit.  They will be here June 11th.

They will go to Grant's wedding in Williamsburg and then they will fly to New Hampshire to Dave's sister's high school graduation, then back to Los Angeles.  I also have a visit from Jeff to look forward to in July.  LIFE IS GOOD!!!