Monday, May 18, 2009

On the treadmill

I walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill today and yesterday.  I have NEVER been able to walk on a treadmill.  I have the speed at the absolute slowest, but hey....it's progress.

John is going to Russia next week and my girlfriend, Linda Carter, is coming to stay with me.  She lives in Virginia Beach.  We actually went to high school together, but I didn't know her in high school.  She was a few grades behind me.  Her ex husband and I were the same age, and I knew him better than her.  It was in 1978 and John and I went to our first Lamaze class when I was pregnant with Jeff.  And there across the room, I saw Mark Carter and his pregnant wife.  I sort of recognized her but didn't know her name.  I spoke to Mark and we were all surprised to see someone from our home town.  We were in Norfolk, Virginia at the time where John was stationed in the Navy, and Mark owned the local Western Sizzlin restaurant.  Linda and I became fast friends talking about our pregnancies and how much we wanted a baby, etc.  Her baby was born 3 weeks before Jeff.

We were both nursing and there were several other ladies that she knew who were all nursing and so we decided to get together every Thursday morning and just talk about our baby boys and nursing and all the things we had in common.   As the boys grew, we continued meeting on Thursdays every week.  We would meet at different places, sometimes at our church nursery and as the boys grew, we began to meet at the McDonald's playground.  Then when the boys grew and needed more stimulation, we started going on outings to the Children's Museum in Portsmouth, VA and to play putt putt.  Once we went to a horse farm.  The amazing thing about this group of 4 or 5 ladies is that a few of us had little girls after a few years and we would stop going for a little while but we would always start back up and then our little girls were playing together.  This group stayed together until our boys were 7 years old.  That was when John got orders for us to move to Connecticut and he was going to be Commanding Officer of the USS ALBUQUERQUE.   Linda told me that the group would get together occasionally after that, but it was never a regular thing after that.

Through all these years, Linda and I began to rely on each other more and more, and she has without a doubt, become the best friend a person could ever have and she is truly my soul-mate.  I treasure her friendship.  We have been through hardships together and comforted each other through all sorts of things.  

When her son was about 5 or 6 years old, her baby girl was about 5 months old.  Linda wanted to stay at the hospital with Brett, but she didn't want to stop nursing Ashley.   I kept Ashley and let her nurse me every night and every day.  I would take Ashley to the hospital to meet Linda downstairs and they would bond and Linda would give me breastmilk for the evenings.  Once Brett was all better, Ashley was still nursing just like before.  I even had milk starting to come in.  It was quite an experience.

When Jeff was 3 and Jenny was only about a month old, he started running a fever in the night. No other symptoms, just the fever.  I was giving him tylenol regularly and at some point in the night, he started convulsing....OMG...I was scared to death. I had always heard that someone could swallow their tongue and die during an episode like this, so I stuck my fingers in his mouth to hopefully stop that from happening.  Jeff just clamped down on my fingers and I could not get my hand out. I was in such a panic....but my first thought was to call Linda, who is a Registered Nurse.  She told me to take him into the shower immediately and let the tepid water run over his head to bring the fever down.  I did this and all the time, my finger was still clinched in his mouth.  FINALLY, he let go.  In the meantime, Linda had called 911 and they were at the door...minutes later, Linda came in.  They were putting Jeff in the ambulance and I was able to go with him because Linda grabbed Jenny and followed us the the hospital.  She would bring Jenny back to me in the emergency room and I would nurse her.  We were at the hospital most of the night.  It turned out that Jeff just had a febrile reaction...He never had another convulsion but he was always prone to very high fevers and strep throat.  That was what this turned out to be.  Linda was there for me and I'll always be greatful to her for that.  

Now 27 years later, she is coming again to stay with me while John is gone.  I am walking pretty well and I think I'll be just fine, but I surely am looking forward to her visit and our catching up.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

One Day at a Time

Yesterday I wrote sooooo many paragraphs and told a really good story and we lost power and I lost the whole thing. Grrrrrr Don't you hate that?  Well, on Friday the PT guy took me walking around our cul de sac, and today I did the same thing with John.  Actually, John and I walked up the street to the next cul de sac over and so I did walk further today.  We are thinking about me trying to get on the treadmill tomorrow.  That is gonna be a challenge cuz I've been afraid to try it.   However, it is supposed to rain tomorrow and I gotta keep walking.  I'll keep you posted.

The only pain reliever I'm taking now is tylenol and the pain is actually minimal.  It is mostly really sore and gets stiff easily....uh oh...it is starting to thunder and lightening outside. I think I'll cut this short before I lose the few lines I've written.  More later.

Friday, May 15, 2009

I walked around the cul-de-sac today

The physical therapist came and we went for a long walk. He walked beside me with my walker that has a place to sit and I used my cane. I only stopped to rest once and walked all the way around the cul-de-sac. He is gone now, and I'm bushed...I feel like crawling up in that hospital bed and taking a nap, but I'm going to resist the urge and write some.

John is going to Russia on the 26th and my friend Linda (Carter) is coming to stay with me. I went to high school with Linda but I was a few years ahead of her. I can't say that I actually remember her from high school but we ran into each other years later when we both lived in Virginia beach. Actually, I knew Linda's ex-husband far better than I knew Linda. In fact, I had a crush on him in high school. We went to the same church but he never showed any interest in me AT ALL.

So, I was pregnant with Jeff, and John and I were starting a Lamaze class. On the first day, I see Mark Carter in there with his wife, Linda. I speak to him and the 4 of us sat together and became fast friends. I think we may have gotten together out of Lamaze class maybe one or two times. It was Linda and I who had the real connection. We had both had troubled pregnancies with having to take hormones and we both wanted a baby so much. We would talk regularly and visit now and then. Little did I know that this woman would end up being my soul mate for life.

Her baby came first. He was 3 weeks before Jeff. My mom was in town waiting for Jeff to come and we went over to Lindas and saw her baby. I knew my time was gonna be soon. It was about this time that the doctor decided I had better not try natural delivery because of the position Jeff was in. They did xrays, and he was too big to turn. He was a transverse lie. The doctor said he couldn't come out this way and it would be too dangerous to try. So, we scheduled the C-section. Linda and I were both nursing and she was part of another group of women who were nursing and we all decided to start a play group for our babies (all boys). I think there were about 6 or 7 of us in the beginning. The boys were maybe a year old at that point, possibly younger. So, we would meet every Thursday morning...in the beginning it was at our church, in the nursery and we eventually progressed to McDonalds. These boys played together every Thursday. As the boys got older, we started taking field trips every Thursday. It would be to the Children's Museum in Portsmouth, or Putt Putt. We even went to a horse farm one time. We had a couple of people to go and a new person here and there, but basically we had a "core" of 4 or 5 ladies and their boys. When Jeff was 2-1/2 I became pregnant with Jenny and we kept up with the playgroup. I probably missed some weeks in there, but as soon as Jenny was portable, we started up again. Then another gal had a baby girl and the Linda had a baby girl. Everyone would stop and come back as needed with their baby girls but the group continued on. Believe it or not, this group stayed together for SEVEN years. Yes, Jeff was 7 years old when John got orders for us to move to Connecticut. This was the demise of the play group, but it wasn't the demise of my friendship with Linda. We had become so close by this time that there was no breaking us up. I told her everything in my life and she was a life saver many times. We were always there for each other through those 7 years. I knew I had found my best friend.

There have been many times that we were there for each other, but 2 instances stand out for me. The first one was when Jenny was about a month old, my mom had just moved to the nursing home and Jeff was 3 years old. Jeff started running a fever and had no other symptoms so I just kept an eye on him and would give him tylenol. Well, at some point in the night he started convulsing. I was a panicked wreck. I put my finger in his mouth to hold his tongue down cuz I was afraid he would swallow it. He was clamping down on my finger and I could not get it out. I ran to the phone, and didn't call 911....Linda is a Nurse and I knew she would know what to do. I called her. He told me to go into the shower with Jeff and let the water run on his head. She cautioned me for the water not to be too cold but just tepid. I did this and in the meantime, she called 911 and hoped in her car and came immediately to my house. Jenny was in her crib and I'm sure she was crying because everything happened so fast. I don't remember hearing her though. I was soaked to the bone and so was Jeff. It was in the shower that he let go of my finger which was bleading by then. I still have a scar on my

When her son was about 5 he got really sick and had to go to the hospital for about a week. I kept her baby girl, who was about 5 months old and I nursed her that entire week. I would visit Linda with the baby during the day at the hospital where Brett was, and she would give me breast milk to feed Ashley. We did this for a week. Linda didn't want to stop nursing Ashley and Ashley took right to my breast. In fact, she preferred it to the bottle with breast milk. It was a wonderful and loving experience for me.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

First Post Op visit today....

Today (May 13) was my first venture out of the house.   I had to go for my post op visit with Dr. Providence.  He was very pleased with my progress and I was proud of myself.   John let me out in front of the hospital and I walked with a cane all the way in.  A nurse offered me a wheelchair and I declined.  

I took a pic of Dr. Providence holding a model of my knee and it is on my phone and I'm gonna try and transfer it to here later.  He said I was doing everything right and to keep on keeping on.  I'll see him in another month.

I feel very hopeful today.  The pain is minimal and all I really need to do now is build up my strength in both of my legs.  The way my balance will get better is to build the muscles back.  So, I gotta walk even more.

Jeff is in San Francisco speaking at a Maritime Convention.  I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments.  How could I have gotten so lucky with TWO children...Jenny just finished the run of her play and it was a whopping success and she is building a great reputation for herself in the theater world while all the time holding down a great job at UCLA.  It is mind boggling sometimes when she tells me how busy she is.  She will have 6 balls in the air at the same time, and balancing them all beautifully.  I don't know how she does it, but it surely swells my heart when I see how successful she is.

Jeez, oh man, I think she and Dave have been together about 3 years now.  He is a great young man and a very talented playwrite.   I am happy that he and Jenny are together and they do seem to love each other.    How lucky can one mama be!!!

Tonight is the season finale of LOST so I'm looking forward to that.  There for a while I just lost interest in watching tv at all.  But life is coming back to normal and I'm getting back into my normal "reality" routine with tv.   I still can't stand long enough to do anything really productive....like cook dinner.....but John is doing a great job of taking care of both of us.

Monday, May 11, 2009

3 weeks since the surgery

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since the surgery.  I am getting better every day.  Getting out of bed and moving around is hard, but once I'm up I always feel better.  The physical therapist came today and said I was way ahead of schedule as far as range of motion and walking goes.  He says next time we are walking outside!!  He wants me to walk all the way around my cul-de-sac.  I told him I couldn't do that before the surgery at all.  So, this is going to be a challenge.  I did walk upstairs twice while he was here.  

Walking hurts!! Bending my knees hurts!!! but I do them.  I had a dream last night that I was walking without pain and I was so happy.  Don't get me wrong, it is getting better and the more I walk the easier it is. One thing I'm doing regularly now is letting the doggies out when they ask, so that is a step in the right direction.  My appetite is better and I'm beginning to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.  One day at a time.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Putting in a photo

I tried to put this photo of me in the hospital bed right in the text, but just couldn't figure out how to do it.  This photo was taken with my phone.   But you can see that I have a regular hospital set up right there in my den.

I've been out of bed quite a bit today.  My knees really hurt a lot when I do my exercises, and it would be so much easier to just lay there.  In fact, I think that is what was making me have the low blood pressure problems earlier....just cuz I wasn't getting out of bed enough!!  But, when you are nauseaus it is HARD to do!!!

Jeez, oh man...Jenny's play only has a couple of weeks to go.  Her closing night is May 9th I think.  The play has been sold out and they are having to add chairs some nights.  I wish everyone could see her play.  It is really so good. I am so happy with her accomplishments.

I don't think I mentioned any of this earlier this week, but I was really scared at one point.  It was at Monday's physical therapy.  The therapist had me doing all my exercises and I had already taken a couple of laps around the kitchen.  Then he wanted me to go again.  It was also my first day of walking with 2 canes instead of my walker.   I had begun feeling ill about 5 steps into the 2nd walk.   By the time I reached the kitchen counter, I grabbed it and told him I needed to sit.  He brought a chair and got his blood pressure cuff.  John was in the other room and when he heard the commotion, he came in.  The therapist (his name is Brevard) was taking my blood pressure...he was on about his 3rd attempt.  He told John he couldn't get a blood pressure and maybe we should call 911.  Well....ordinarily, I would not hesitate to obey a health care official.  But this time, John was the voice of reason and talked Brevard into "let's just step back and take a look here".  They got me to the bed.  I had not passed out but I was close to it.
They got me to the bed and did get a blood pressure reading of 90/60.  We decided the best thing to do at this point was to call my primary care doctor because I have been on 2 different blood pressure meds for quite a while for HIGH blood pressure.  This low pressure was a mystery.  So, I called my dr. and as you would figure...he wasn't there but I talked to his nurse and she told me to just hang tight and drink plenty of liquids and she would get someone who could help.

About an hour or so later another nurse called and said they were still trying to reach Dr. Roser, and that I might want to go to the ER.  Again, since I had no pain or shortness of breath and my blood pressure had stabalized at 100/65 we decided to wait to hear from Dr. Roser.  In the meantime, she told me not to take any blood pressure meds and to stop the narcotics that I was taking for pain.  Needlesstosay,  that Monday night was not comfortable for me.  But I agreed that taking anything that might lower my pressure would not be good.  

You have to remember that my blood pressure had fluctuated wildly at the hospital and they had stopped my BP meds and I had started them back just a few days before.  Also,  I realize now that although I was getting up for physical therapy, I wasn't sitting up much and I did spend mostly all of the day in bed.  Getting up to walk for 10 minutes 3 times a day wasn't enough.  But,  it was so easy to just lay there.  The PT is hard.  I'm making excuses...

So, Dr. Roser called me Tuesday morning and by this time, my blood pressure was 132/82.  He told me to stop all BP meds and to start back with my narcotics for pain.  And he said if my blood pressure went over 140/90 then I should resume only the one BP med.  So far, that hasn't happened.   

All in all...that was a major turning point for me because I have felt better and been more motivated to get out of bed, get on the computer and just sit in the easy chair.  In fact, I have been out of bed for 5 or 6 hours today...a record for me...for sure.  But I know it is for the best.

Today is exactly 2 weeks after the surgery and I feel like it is the first REAL day of my recovery because I've not had to deal with the general "ill" feeling and I haven't had that fear associated with the blood pressure.  I was afraid of a blood clot and that might have been what was making the pressure so low.   John seemed to think I wasn't drinking enough water also, and he probably was right about that too.

I am looking at the last 2 weeks and so incredibly thankful that I had both knees done.   I would hate to have to think that I would be going through anything like this again.  But who knows, if I had done only one....maybe it wouldn't have been so bad.  Who knows?? I'm just gonna keep on taking one day at a time, and one step at a time.  First the walker, now 2 canes...my next goal is one cane and then none.  The hope of walking without pain in my knees drives me.





Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Day 13 after surgery

WOW!!! This has been much more of a "punch" than I ever imagined it would be.  I cannot believe it has taken me this long to even get on the computer for more than 30 seconds.  I HAD to get on to pay some bills at one point, and just never felt like looking at emails, or blogging.  But here it is...day 13 and I'M BACK!!!!

First of all, during surgery, I had a general anesthesia and an epidural and the epidural didn't take AT ALL.  So, after surgery, I was in tremendous pain....once everyone realized I was getting nothing from the epidural, they started a morphine pump and the pain was eased to a great degree.  The doctor said that the surgery was a success and everything looked great.  Except for the nausea and pain in my knees and a general all over yukky feeling, I thought things were going fine.  Then they noticed that my foley cathether (for urine) wasn't producing anything.  They said my kidneys had shut down.  After a bit of scrambling, they gave me 2 units of blood and the urine started up.  My kidneys were ok.  

They took me to a room and for the next 2 days I was totally and completely out of it.  I hallucinated all the time and quite frankly, was very confused about what was happening.  Quite an elaborate imagination was running through my head and I hardly even recognized anyone.  They said I needed more blood and couldn't find a vein, after dozens of tries and my one available arm black and blue, they called in the people from anesthesia to put in a "line" for blood transfusions.  They ended up putting that line between my FINGERS.  I've never heard of that before, but that's what they did.

I was examined by Internal Medicine, because apparently I had a very low respiration and a very high heart rate.  The fear was a blood clot.  They sent me to X ray Dept to have some sort of scan.  They said they couldn't do a CT Scan because of the fears they still had with my kidneys, but the scan they were going to do required that I lay on this table completely flat for an HOUR!!! after 15 minutes, I could not tolerate it any longer, the pain was unbearable and the pain was in my BACK.  Having to lay totally straight was just something I could not do. I asked for a pillow, the technician said I couldn't use a pillow.  This was the straw that broke the  camels back ( ha, no pun intended)......I had the test stop and they took me back to my room.  At this point, seems like all they did for the next day was draw blood and give me IV's.  

I started manually drinking a lot of water. I forced myself to drink plenty and by now the catheter was out and I was peeing regularly.  STILL, they came in with the bags of saline. I asked why and they said it was necessary.  I didn't believe it.  By this time, it is day 4 and I WANT TO GO HOME.  

My ortho agreed that I could go home the next day.  Internal Medicine wanted me to stay and still have whatever that test was that I had to lay still for an hour.  THANKFULLY, (I think) my ortho won out and I went home on day 5.

Since that time, I have had a home health care nurse and a physical therapist coming to my home regularly and I am making progress.  The nurse took my 67 staples out today.  I'm walking around a bit with a walker and have been able to come off of one of the narcotics that I was on and now I am just taking the one every 4 hours for pain.

The fact that I even feel like writing today has me overjoyed.  I felt so terrible those first days when I just couldn't talk to anyone....not even my children.  They both called daily and John kept them up dated, but the nausea and hallucinating was just too overwhelming for me.
John has been my guardian angel through all of this.  He didn't go into work at all the first week, and worked completely from home.  Now he is going in in the mornings and is home by 12:30 pm each day and works from home the rest of the day.  He has been a wonderful nurse and makes me realize what a great guy he is.  I am truly blessed to have him loving me and caring for me.  I couldn't have gotten any better or more loving and attentive care from anyone. 

Now, for just a tiny bit of bragging.  My son, who has just fininshed up his classes and teaching requirements at Cal State University at Northridge, has only his thesis to complete to get his Master's in History.  One of the things that the graduate school does at the end of the semester is have an award's ceremony.  This week at that ceremony, Jeff was awarded the highest honor that they give.  It was for having the best graduate paper of the YEAR.   He will be flying to a convention in San Francisco later this month to present this paper at a History convention.  His dad and I are so very proud of him.  He will come home for a little while this summer and go to the Library of Congress for research, etc. to complete his thesis.  After that, he will continue on with his pursuit of a PhD in History.

I'm also looking forward to seeing Jenny and Dave in June. They are flying back to DC  to go to Grant Cothran's  wedding (a dear friend of Jenny's from high school) and then on up to New Hampshire for Dave's sister's graduation from high school.  So, I have both of my babies to look forward to seeing very soon.  This will help me in my recovery, I'm sure.